#47 - Acid, Eggs, and Errant Fish

Excerpt from the Personal Chronicles of Aleae Dyo'ionah Tiamah D'maii Dwin' Eytherarnith

As we quietly awaited the arrival of the others in the darkened hallway following the illusionary sphinx, a passage illuminated only by the slight flicker of an everburning candle moving in place on the far right wall, I did my best to ignore the ghastly stench that hit my nostrils and without further investigation struck me as a sad combination of wet gnoll and orc entwined with a touch of rot harbinger lingering in this air. I casually glanced to my left and then to my right, my vertically stretched shadow twisting with and greeting me on either side, but Rendar was nowhere to be found. Hmmm… Humanoids and orcs mating. I know that the half-orc race has existed for over one thousand years—by Eberron's standards—but I wonder if that first “combination” was voluntary or forced? Was the maternal parent human or orc? Are there issues during birth if the female is a full human? Note to self: At next athenaeum, gather further information on origins of half-orc species.

My train of thought was quickly broken as the prevailing stench made its origins fully known the moment a “bloodied” Rendar and Cypher stepped into the passageway. The odor that went along with the red substance with which they were soiled must have shed countless tears upon these floors and was clearly elevated by some pre-existing “conditions.” There was no possible way I could continue our journey with this fetor. The nutriment purchased earlier from the gangly low-elf vendor pirouetted through my abdominal region like pixies in fairy rings beneath the light of a bright winter’s moon. With a quick word and slight swivel of the second and third digits of my right hand, the two were made tolerable and we proceeded towards the door to the next test.

It seems the designers did not prognosticate talent such as ours partaking in their illusionary adventures as we were required to wait for the party ahead to conclude their task and the low-elves to reset the challenge. As clatter and cursing from elsewhere infiltrated the corridor and the others strained to listen, I slowed my breath and looked inward to shoulder the noise. Using the chant my father taught me when I was but five years amongst the worlds to steady my thoughts, “Om burvasat bhura da’vit sah ha,” I rapidly regained my center.
A thin, darkened door at the end of the hallway slid open, disappearing into the wall. Strong, illusionary sunshine filled the walkway; its beams warming my skin and temporarily blinding me. My eyes strained in their adjustment from the dim lighting effects of the one tiny everburning candle to the grandiose rays of a desert sun.

Our feet sank comfortable into sand as we traipsed into the new arena. Sounds of waves dancing in the water and birds chirruping high above frolicked for my attention. A massive stone wall loomed approximately 40 feet high and 40 feet out from where we stood, intensifying the room’s vastness. The floor of sand was pristine save for the gigantic egg in the center and a few other seemingly random items scattered about its surface (a ladder, wooden pole, a ring, and a small metal cube). A low-elf hidden somewhere in the rafters overhead announced our challenge: “The egg is a roc egg. You have been tasked with recovering it for a group of mermaids; only with their help can you cross the perilous rivers of Xen’drik to reach your destination! You must deliver the egg into the water beyond the high wall. Be careful not to break it, though; despite its size, it’s somewhat fragile.” The hourglass indicated a time limit of twenty minutes. Separation commenced without conference as individually we engaged assiduously with our surroundings.

Although I fully understand and thoroughly embrace the thrill of executing a puzzle a moment before the sun smiles at a unicorn, would removing these limits of time not afford participants the opportunity to engage in moments of laughter and gaiety, imbuing a sense of merriment amongst all who participated? Is not that the aspiration of a carnival?

Rocs are enormous avians large
enough, it is said, even for
giants to ride.

INITIAL ASSESSMENTS:

Item: 3” Metal Cube
Examiner: Self
Findings: 

• lightweight
• no discernible openings
• easily pushed deep into the sand  (Note: The sand’s depth was beyond that of arm’s reach, roughly 2’ 4.6513”.) 

Conclusion:  Drawing from our previous encounters with room objects of indeterminate application, I believed the 3” metal cube with no markings or openings was most likely magical in nature. Further investigation was necessary and best completed by one who had trained appropriately. In current company, I postulated that position is best held by the smaller warforged, Cypher.

Item: "Roc" Egg
Examiner: Clarion & Kard
Findings:

• 12’ long x 8’ wide
• exceptionally heavy
• fragile

Conclusion: We would not be able to move the egg simply by using our group’s strength. Additional tools would be necessary.

Item: Ring
Examiners: Cypher and Kard
Findings:

• small
• no markings
• when worn: ▪ a disc of solid black appears approximately 3’ above the surface below ▪ disc follows wearer within a 5’ radius ▪ wearer can control the disc’s horizontal position within this 5’ radius ▪ wearer cannot control the disc’s vertical position ▪ center of disc is depressed at an angle of approximately 3.1875 degrees ▪ disc can hold a maximum weight of approximately 500 lbs

Conclusion: Use the floating disc to move the egg.

Item: Pole
Examiner: ???? (Magnus or Rendar)
Findings:

• wooden
• thick, approximately 3” in diameter

Conclusion:  This is an ordinary pole.

Item: Ladder
Examiner: Rendar
Findings:

• 10’ long
• metal

Conclusion:  This is an ordinary ladder.

Coming together momentarily to disseminate our initial findings, we promptly dissolved into smaller groups and solo efforts and continued with the mission. While I inspected the right side of the substantial stone wall for imperfections and clues to overcome its enormity—to no avail, I’m afraid—Cypher squatted closer to the entrance and examined the metal cube. Magnus, Clarion, and Rendar finagled with getting the egg atop the disc with Kard as the disc’s controller. I must admit, this scene did have me stray a bit from my investigation. Many times I had to bite the inner side of my cheek to keep from chuckling aloud as the larger three moved sand like corpulent kobold tunnelers attempting to get the wedged angled disc horizontal. Just when I thought I could no longer hold the laughter back, the half-orc realized that the pole could be used as leverage to help pry the egg off the ground and within moments, had it upon the disc.

This triumph was short lived as moments later, Cypher having deduced the means necessary to activate the cube, did just that. Force fields erupted in waves from the tiny block, pushing Cypher, the egg, and those surrounding the egg multiple feet from where they started. We all gasped as a 30’ high stone monolith arose next to the wall filling a 20’ area on the floor. Having a firmer grasp as to what could be expected from this object afforded us the opportunity to establish its exact role in our mission.

I, along with Magnus (surprisingly quick thinking for such a boorish creature), suggested that we bury the cube in the sand at the center of where we wished for it to appear. This way we could maneuver the disc holding the egg above this zone and hopefully, once activated, the monolith would carry the egg carefully lifted by the disc to the top of the monolith. The others agreed that this logical plan was sound.

Cypher easily deactivated the cube, handed it off to me and Magnus to bury deep in the sand. The egg was once again positioned on the disc and Kard, with the help of Clarion and Rendar, carefully maneuvered it over the spot where the cube was buried.

Except for Cypher (who kept a safe distance in what appeared to the collective as a bout of cowardice), we all surrounded the egg, linking hands to buffer possible damage created by the cube upon activation (which Cypher was to perform). I prepared myself both mentally and physically to collectively rise with the egg atop the monolith. Once the signal was given, the cube sprung into action in the sand below. Our attempt to act as a cushion was thwarted as a tremendous force blew us aside like colorful leaves pulled from the branches of their regal trees in the Eldeen by the cold winds of early Sypheros. As Kard was propelled backwards, the disc followed him, and slipped out from underneath the egg. Nonetheless our plan worked out and the egg rose, unharmed, with the monolith to its top. Clarion, who had taken the position by the corner—the most perilous location in the circle—was momentarily stuck between “a rock and a hard place.” With an uncomfortable cacophony of screeching noises of metal against stone, he emerged from out of the small opening between the wall the the monolith covered in various scratches and scrapes.

Cypher was the first to make his way into the door of the monolith and up the stairs that led to its top, with Magnus, Kard, and Rendar carrying the ladder close behind. Cypher, now in possession of the ring, summoned the disc while the others repositioned the egg atop it. The ladder was placed at an angle to bridge the gap between the monolith and wall. Cypher bound up the makeshift staircase to the top, the disc closely followed him with Magnus and Clarion at its back to stabilize the egg as it rose up the incline.

Time was of the essence. We had less than two minutes to complete our task. Unfortunately, we had summoned the tower on the exact opposite side from where stairs led straight into what we were to believe was the mermaidens’ cove. The wall, though high, was a generous 5’ in its width, and Cypher easily navigated down its length with the egg in tow. The confidence he gained from this quick traversal almost got the better of the warforged as the equally swift transfer from the wall to the stairs very nearly sent the egg tumbling off the disc to the sand below. Only with the help of Magnus and Rendar was a catastrophe averted. The egg made it intact, in the end rolling over Cypher’s back and head, safely into the water with only seconds to spare. “Hooray!” Mermaiden cheers surrounded us and we were each handsomely rewarded with two Shadow Coins.

A short and enjoyable swim through the warm peacock-colored waters of the mermaidens’ cove ushered us towards the entrance of the following room, its surroundings reminiscent of a dilapidated hut in the far reaches of a swamp. Hot and muggy, the air thick with sweat, two natural-colored, wooden tables were before us. The table on the left housed a rather large glass tank filled with an assortment of fish of varying hues and sizes. Along side it, a small net made of braided dry marsh reed and mesh, most likely provided so as to catch fish. The table on the right contained eight uncapped pint jars each filled to relatively 1” below capacity with distinct tints: yellow, white, green, red, purple, brown, black, and blue. Stir sticks and an empty container with four lines marked evenly up its side were beside the pint jars.

An actual green hag would not
likely have presented so
innocuous a challenge.

A low-elf from above introduced the challenge: “You have taken shelter in an abandoned hut, starving and hiding from the dangers of the jungle. Here you have found a cache of food and wine. But alas...the hut once belonged to a green hag and you’ve inadvertently imperiled yourselves! Each of you has been poisoned, and you have until the sand runs out to figure out—and consume—the cure among the hag’s alchemical solutions. Take a look at all of these fishies. You’ll notice that there are fishies here of several colors. One of them is the antidote to the poison you drank. Of course, another color is even more poisonous—you swallow that one, you’ll be dead instantly. Yes, even you warforged. Your task is to figure out what color of fishie you need to swallow, and to do that, you’ll have to follow this set of instructions. If you’re all ready, then, let’s begin!”

The directions to determine the color of the fish which we should consume seemed simple enough: Add one part red, to one part hue of the majority of fish, to one part blue, to one part hue of the largest fish. Employing the basics of color theory gained during summer chroma mastery training at Hafleikr Adu in my 10th year afforded me the ability to immediately surmise the final color must be either a shade of purple, brown, or black with the majority of possible mixtures creating a brownish hue. (Unless, of course, the tints were somehow magical in nature.)

The fish were extremely nimble and swam considerably fast making use of the net to extract them from the aquarium one by one laborious. Draining the water from the tank and then turning the fish out into a far corner for separation and counting would accelerate the process dramatically. Magnus initiated this task, lifting the tank effortlessly off the table and angling it just right so the water poured out at a precise rate that supported both speed and accuracy. I held the net at the corner of the tank, ensuring no fish escaped during the siphoning. In response to Magnus’ action, the two warforged seized the timbered table and positioned it on its side at the room’s watery entry, impeding the escape of any fish that may have gotten loose during the straining.

Once the fish were separated from the water it should have been very straight forward to classify them by color and make the necessary observations. Clarion seemed surprisingly maladroit at handling the fish and one absconded from his three-fingered hands. Despite the barricaded entrance, this fish managed to find the one gap large enough to squeeze through and hastily vanished into the depths of the waterway.  Note to self: Establish why (most) warforged have only three fingers. It doesn’t appear to be particularly difficult to have added a few more fingers and it would seem to have made them to a marked degree more dexterous. Also, inquire as to the scope of warforged limbs. Personal field research shows that warforged with larger capacities for thought are two-legged/two-armed. Would not an increase in limbs allow for improved movement, speed, and use of weaponry?

A distressed Clarion immediately confessed to the accident, informing us that he was regrettably unable to establish the color of fish prior to it fleeing his grip. This incident could have very well made our findings unreliable.

The counts were promptly established and a simple pattern emerged: 1 Yellow, 2 Green, 3 Black, 3 Purple, 5 Brown, 6 Red, 7 Blue and 8 White. Clarion must have lost a black or a purple fish. Following our instructions Cypher and Clarion handled the mixing of the colors. The result was a distinct strong brownish hue–the tints were not magical in nature. 

Five brown fish for six adventures. I suppose the low-elves running this establishment use this tactic to create waves within the group’s psyche for the remaining tests all while getting a chuckle out of seeing groups fight over the “cure” for a false poison. Without a word Kard swallowed the first fish live, followed by Cypher who unceremoniously smashed the poor brown creature on the table top with his fist before devouring its mangled corpse. Since warforged do not eat under normal circumstances I can only imagine that the slight flicker of his solid eyes was an expression of surprise. What is to become of this fish is yet unknown and I fear it may have to be extracted from his construction at some point in the near future to prevent the smell of rot from overtaking his being. For his, as well as the rest of his travelling party, I hope the fish was purely illusory. Magnus was next and his smile suggested he enjoyed the feeling of pulverizing a live fish with his teeth. Conceivably, this is not the first time he has had to partake in an act or ritual with such macabre undertones. His primitiveness was illuminated further when he rinsed the bits of chewed carcass from his mouth with a large portion of the brownish paint cocktail. “Just to be sure,” he said while drips of brown emerged from the corners of his mouth. Evidently, following simple instructions is not his strong suit.  

Dol Arrah, the Sovereign of
Sun and sacrifice, probably
approved of Clarion's admission
and self-sacrifice.

With two “cures” and three “poisoned victims” remaining, Clarion immediately offered to be the one to go without a fish, citing his earlier—and potentially disastrous—mishap and the likely eternal favor of the lady he honors, Dol Arrah. Without delay, Rendar responded that he would share his fish with Clarion–a behavior most inconsistent with what I know of half-orcs! Feasibly, this grasp on proper etiquette could have its basis in the fact that this half-orc’s background is one of haut monde. Being that Rendar hardly knows Clarion, it would have been an unforgivable faux pas to let Rendar do Clarion this honour. 

After killing the fish with a single graceful, but severe blow on the tabletop, I delicately bit off only the front half, offering the remaining back portion to the massive warforged. The gesture was promptly interrupted by our unseen guide who reminded us that the “cure” was an entire fish; fractions would not suffice. With a remorseful glance, I apologized to Clarion and swallowed the tail end of my fish. I attempted to persuade him to eat a purple fish—just in case the fish he lost was both white and the largest in size, which would be the only possible way we were incorrect in our assessment, but he refused. Maybe he shared the same concerns about a warforged’s “digestive tract” as I did.  

Excluding Clarion, all were “cured” and respectively received two Shadow Pieces before moving into the next room. I found great pleasure in this moments as a calming rhythm emerged between the challenges. Either our tasks were becoming easier or a chemistry was awakening betwixt us that increased our effectiveness, as the solutions were fast becoming obvious all the while rewarding us with more and more of these amusing coins.

Inwardly, Kard was most amused by
consumption of a brown fish.

The next room was similar to that of a hallway in a dungeon: narrow, long, and darkened with two pools of “deadly” acid each as wide as the hallway and eight feet in length separating us from the exit. Suspended by a thick iron chain two feet above the furthest acid pond was a cage in which a garishly-painted female House Phiarlan low-elf clad in a frilly dress, long gloves, and a scarf acted as a captured aristocrat. The iron chain was fed through a pulley attached to the ceiling above and fastened to a hook on our left. A low-elf shrouded in the darkness called out: “Uh-oh! The drow caught up to your camp and raided you during the night. Though you drove them off, they have captured the daughter of your expedition’s leader, a noblewoman of the Five Nations! In attempt to lure you to your death, they have placed her in a cage suspended above a vat of powerful acid! But be careful; the chain supporting her cage is a deadly contact poison—which affects even warforged!”

Once again, the solution was needed before the allotted time elapsed (yet again with these limits!). On the floor next to us were two ten-foot metal spears which we could use in any way we saw fit. A jump across the pools to the ground between would not be easy for there was no space to get a running start and the sheen on the floor indicated that it may be slippery. We found ourselves spending most of the time discussing many possible courses of action. At some point Clarion decided that he had to take a closer look at the cage and jumped over the first pool with such ease that he made the distance look miniscule—so small indeed that he almost cleared the platform in the center, vaulting straight into the second pool of acid. Luckily, he was able to stabilize himself at the last moment by hanging onto the cage. This afforded him the opportunity to get that “closer look,” but at a rate I believe to be much faster than he most likely anticipated. Further discussions ensued, specifically plans to use the metal spears as a crossing bridge.  

Magnus, having tired from scholarly rumination, lunged towards the first landing, but his strength betrayed him. He overshot the platform dramatically and disappeared into the second pool of acid before Clarion had any chance to help him, disappearing from our view altogether and likely succumbing to “death.”

Our cautious approach seemed ever more prudent and we continued examining how best to use the spears. Cypher placed about two inches of the dull end of one spear into the corrosive material to see how it would react. The acid did indeed burn away the metal relatively fast. It would barely bend though under great force so from here on out we resolved to consistently used the spears to traverse the pools. One spear was placed on the floor on either side of the pool and held in place by a foot as to assure that it would not shift while the other spear was held a few feet above ground by persons on either side to allow relatively safe passage.

Kard was first to walk across and attempted to open the lock of the cage by burning it away with acid gathered on the shortened spear. He did so repeatedly while Cypher and I made our journey to the last of the platforms joining Clarion. Eventually, Kard succeeded at reducing the lock to a mere shell, but this did not prove advantageous. Even though the lock had no more mechanical significance the door would not open. Obviously the rules of this game were only roughly based on this world’s reality.

All was not lost, for using the acid to burn part of the cage away sparked an idea in Clarion’s mind and he suggested we lower the cage into the pit allowing the acid to eat away the bottom of the cage creating an opening through which the princess could escape. We discussed a few approaches to accomplish this task and eventually set a course of action that, to me, was poorly edited, yet time—again—was beginning to run short and we had to start acting on our ideas. 

Rendar would use the now significantly shorter—from the repeated dipping into the acid—of the two spears to unhook the chain from the wall, keeping its tip lodged in the chain to aid in steadying the cage. (He would have used the maiden’s gloves, but Cypher had earlier dipped them in the acid and rendered them fingerless in order to test if they would protect us from the contact poison. Something clearly got lost in translation during this computation.)

The second, intact spear was placed through the bars in the center of the cage. Clarion and Kard both held an end of the spear, intent on using it to keep the cage from dropping into the pool. I took the maiden’s scarf and formed a “U” on the spear by knotting it on both ends. She was instructed to employ the base of the “U” as a seat and wrap her wrists with the scarf for extra support while she held onto the spear.   

The execution of the plan went relatively smoothly. The chain was cut, Kard and Clarion competently bore the weight of the cage, with Clarion barely moving. Cypher twisted and pushed the cage until it was slightly skewed and together they slowly dipped its bottom into the acid pool, dissolving all the metal it contacted. The cage was lifted out, turned towards the final platform where Cypher and I stood, and collectively we aiding the “Lady” out of the cage.

The princess, wrought with false emotions, relinquished herself into the arms of Cypher who carried her out of the room and I followed suit. Within moments the remainder of the party joined us and we discovered the "slain" Magnus in the hallway, still dripping with green "acid." We were victorious and, apart from Magnus, received two Shadow Coins apiece as a reward.  

The last room of our journey presented itself as the entrance to a fotress of giants. The walls brimming with supposed writings of giants had me giggling for they made absolutely no sense (though their maker had clearly understood Giant): “No pass no pass bad monkey?”; “Beware of the rockery!”; and “Slip and fall down carefully.” Deep down I hoped the ludicrous writings were intentional, but given the history of the low-elves running this game, perhaps mockery of the giants' language was intention—or else mere maleducation. A door larger than I’ve ever experienced towered at the opposing wall. Our goal was to simply walk through this door. 

At the room’s center was a 30’-deep and 10’-wide chasm. A brisk look down into this chasm revealed a carpet of oversized centipedes, millipedes, and other nasty arthropoda that would lead to our quick death should we come into contact with their bodies. Looking around, we discovered our side of the chasm contained five items: a 10-foot-long javelin, a 12-foot-long giant's greatsword, an everburning torch, an enormous 20-foot-long leash and collar evidently intended for a giant hound, and the carcass of a white bunny.

Using the greatsword as a bridge, Cypher made his way across the chasm to investigate the exit. After a few moments he indicated that the door was not magical, but it was locked. We would have to locate the key that fit into its oversized keyhole.

Looking around the room there was only one, obvious solution. The key must be someplace at the bottom of the pit. Clarion and Rendar were quick to point out that we should lower one of us into the pit using the leash. As the lightest of the group, I thought it best to volunteer for this task. I placed the collar around my chest and under my arms, held the everburning torch in one hand and the javelin with the rabbit secured at its tip in the other (as bait to lure the critters around if need be) and was slowly lowered down the side of the pit by Magnus and Clarion. The rabbit did not aid me as greatly as I had anticipated, as there were only slight changes in the density of these creatures as I maneuvered the javelin from left to right. With keen sight and a bit of luck, I spotted the key in the first corner I searched. I raised the javelin, unhooked the rabbit and tossed it into the opposite corner. The vile critters were easily lured by this temptation and swarmed to the carcass. Magnus and Clarion laid on the ground, their arms outstretched over the edge providing me with the extra few feet that facilitated the excavation of this key from its hiding place in a pocket of the pit’s wall. Straining as far as I could reach, I hooked the key with the point of the javelin, dragging both along the wall as Magnus and Clarion hoisted me and it out of the repugnant cavity. 

Like Cypher before, we employed the great sword as a bridge and made our way across the gap. The keyhole hovered high above. Utilizing the warforged as a ladder, I stood atop Cypher who stood atop Clarion, placed the massive key in the sizable keyhole and turned with all my might. The humongous door opened, revealing a series of familiar tents and lights at the end of a corridor. We had completed our journey and were about to return into the fresh night breeze of the carnival.

After receiving our Shadow Pieces I decided to quickly clean everyone. Appearing pristine to the crowd when we exited as victors would accentuate our competence. It was obvious to all that we had been exceedingly successful in our tasks as we were greeted with jubilant music and gracious cheers from the crowd and from the Phiarlan elves as we emerged from the tent, smiling and immaculate.